This time last year I was finishing up my last year at Bowie wondering what direction I would take next. Little did I know that, a month after school was out, I would be engaged to be married! I then would take a position at a studio underneath the direction of my friend Jeremy for 5 months. I hated it. Don't get me wrong, I loved the idea of being an administrative assistant, but there just wasn't enough for me to do from 8:30-5:30pm everyday. I know, sounds lame. I filled my time in the mornings working and then in the afternoon would just wait for my next task. I would try to find tasks to do on my own, but I exhausted my efforts. Anyways, seeing that it was really far away from my home, I handed over the job to another girl who is still there.....and dating one of the guys in the studio next door. Hahah...God ordained let me tell you. I then would get prepared for my wedding, move to a new town and begin a new life with Peter. In January I would start substitute teaching until now. It was a love/hate relationship. I enjoyed the freedom, but still hated the disciplining and the boredom. So, I filled my time reading book after book and almost finishing my Beth Moore bible study. I am on my last week. I would spend many hours praying through my journal and lots of games consisting of Spider Solitaire and Minesweeper. SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD. I will never play those games again.
During my substitute teaching "career" I thought the Lord would give me the desire again to teach. After being confronted by one of the assistant principals about what I was certified in, I caved and told them. Both of the choir positions would become open. I prayed through that and felt I needed to take the chance. I told them I was certified. They told me to send my resume over to the principal and tell him I was interested in the assistant choir position. They would also do their part and tell them in person. I then would "hide" from them as the rest of the school year went by. I still have not been called and it has been a month. I'm fine with that, because my desire has still not returned. I feel quite sure I will at least get an interview. After all, they will need to meet their quota of interviews.
And to now...
I have an interview on Tuesday in a completely different direction. It's an office manager position, right down the street from my home. The hours are 9-12 and 3-7 M-Th and only 9-12 on Friday. That sounds so appealing. It's a salary position and I would be working with people ALL DAY. This is definitely up my alley. I realized when working at as an admin assistant this summer that I need PEOPLE in my life. Seriously. I know the Lord had me their for a reason, but that is not my niche.
I am very excited about this, but after being turned down twice as an admin assistant in the last 4 months, I am a little leery. Why? Probably because now that I have been turned down, I feel like I probably don't trust the Lord in this area. I confess.
I really wanted to feel sorry for myself for a while, but then I am reminded of His plan over my life. Apparently those two positions, at the same place might I add, were not in his plan for my life.
So, Lord, I want to walk in your will. I need wisdom and clarity. I want to be in a place where I can be used to glorify your name. Whether that is teaching, or cleaning toilets, I want to be passionate about it and about you.
So, in saying all of this, I have spent this week enjoying not subbing. I have enjoyed the week where I feel like is the calm before the storm. I believe I will have a job soon. I have no idea what, but I know I am ready.
Onto a more serious subject.
I have been in contact with a friend from college recently through myspace. Oh the world of myspace. I think I might shut my down. That's neither here nor there...
Anyways, this friend of mine has recently "come out of the closet" and become a lesbian. This has been a severe shock to me. I went to a Christian college so I pretty much was in a bubble all 4.5 years of college. But, I will say, being in the music department was a little different. There were always those who were "questionable." Everyone always puts that stigma on men in the music department. Anyways, this girl went to my church and passionately loved the Lord! She also had an incredible voice. But, this sweet girl struggled so much with her weight and her identity. After college, we both moved to the Metroplex. She began coming to our church. She visited my small group several times, but it was just to far away for her to drive. During this time she had that "lap-band" surgery and has a lost an HUGE amount of weight. I mean I didn't recognize her. Wow...
So anyways, back to the subject. She has run from the Lord. She knows His word far better than I do, but yet she chooses to walk this way. She says she cannot be a "gay christian" because she knows to much about the word so those two do not coincide. She's right. She's lost. She's confused and the only thing I can is pray that the Lord would woo her back to His face. Whatever has to happen, even if that is that she experiences some broken, hurtful relationships with women, I pray that she will be wooed back to Him soon. I know I cannot fix her. I know I cannot be the one. So, I can only pray.
The one thing that I've realized in the past few days is, I hurt more over her sin than I do my own. Why is that? This makes me frustrated. I think because her sin is viewed by the world in a different way, it's easier for me to think that she is way worse off than me. I know this not the case. I know that my fear, my pride and my jealousy issues are on the same level of sin as her struggle with homosexuality.
So, Lord, teach me to hurt over my own sin. Lord, forgive me for not loving you and not trusting you enough to bring her out of the pits and back to your face!!
So, sorry for the heavy blog.
Here are some not-so-heavy things.
Peter and I have been very busy lately. Peter is in the process of changing jobs at work. He will be in his new position in early June, hopefully. This has been a long process! He has literally been on His knees for a few months asking for wisdom and clarity in this area. He is very unhappy in the position that he is in right now, but is still having to bust his hiney. He even had an interview with another company who actually offered him a position. Last week he had his "evaluation" with his boss. Oddly enough, his boss knew how unhappy he has been and told him about a position that was opened in another area of his company. His face of course lit up because this was the position he has wanted for a few years now! So, the Lord was faithful as always to Peter because he sought His face. He was on his knees and earnestly wanted His will to be done. I wish I was more like Peter.
So, he has been busy.
Last Friday night, I had the privilege of seeing most of my college friends from Ko Jo Kai that I was close to. In all, there were about 20 of us! We stayed at a hotel and had a wonderful dinner at Mi Cocina. We celebrated Kristen's upcoming marriage to Keith by having a lingerie party! It was so much fun!! I didn't sleep much on Friday night though. Here is ONE picture from the night. I am a dork and forgot to take pictures. WHY???!???!
I had to wake up at 7 to be at my LAST STEP STUDY for Celebrate Recovery Saturday morning. After it was over I came home and laid on the couch for about an hour. Peter came home around noon. We were both so tired. 3 hours later, we woke up realizing we had to be downtown at a shower by 4. It was 3:15!
Whew! We celebrated Natasha and Thomas' upcoming marriage at a Couple's Pool Party. It was a little chilly to be swimming, or I "conveniently forgot" my suit. :)
Here is a picture of Peter and I at the shower. You can see our tired eyes!
After the shower, we went to a restaurant on Greenville and sat on the patio with about 10 people. We laughed alot!
Sunday morning Peter and I slept in. We woke up, ate waffles, and decided to drive around the 3 neighborhoods that Peter has been a major part of these past 6 months. It was fun to actually see a part of what he does. We visited Frisco, McKinney, Prosper, and drove through several other neighborhoods on the way. We went into about 20 or more model homes! I was so tired when we were done, but I had so much fun spending time with Peter.
When we got home we had to both shower and head over to small group for a surprise party for our friend Sam. Red, Hot and Blue catered it. YUM! We had a good time with the small group playing games and just chit chatting. We came home and crashed!!
Like I said earlier, I have had alot of free time this week. I have enjoyed running at the local park, watching The Price is Right, and cooking dinner for Peter. I really have had no contact with anyone except my mom and a phone call to Lauren. :) You should feel special....hahaaa.
Anyways, it's Thursday and I have to put some packets together for Peter's training on Saturday. We are having a couple over for dinner tomorrow night. I am making grilled salmon, sweet potatoes, asparagus and some yummy dessert. I haven't decided yet! My sister leaves for Africa on Sunday so my mom is flying in on Saturday. We have dinner plans with her on Saturday night. Then we have a cookout on Sunday night! Again, busy weekend. Should be fun for me though, seeing as I haven't had any contact with friends this week.
Well, I hope I didn't bore you. Here is your weekly update.
